Making Joy in January
What better time than the New Year to start new traditions here on the blog.
There’s something about New Years that signifies a new beginning, a fresh start, a chance to change for the better. Or it could be all hype to get you locked into a gym membership 😉
Either way, I’m not one for making New Years resolutions. Or really seeing the New Year as anything more than the changing of the calendar year. But, it seemed like a great point for my blog to make a few little changes.
You see, I started this blog as a way for me to connect with other moms AND share fun DIYs/crafts/projects along the way. It’s called making JOY and pretty things. While I love to blog about pretty things (and REALLY love designing and making them), there was just something I wasn’t completely satisfied with so far.
I took the reader survey to see how you were feeling about my content. And you guys were seriously SO SO nice. I was worried I would get a few “you’re horrible at blogging!” comments but instead I was humbled by your kindness.
I will be sharing more details about the reader survey next week (so try to complete it by this weekend, please!!), but so far I’ve gotten mixed results on if you’d like to see more “making joy and/or family posts”. I’m kinda bummed about that, honestly. I’m feeling the push to write more personal stories, silly life adventures, or a day in the life of a sort-of-stay-at-home-mom-who-also-works-part-time-with-crazy-weird-hours (how’s that for a run on sentence ;)).
And from that weird, maybe confusing, explanation is born the newest part of my blog “Making Joy”. It’s going to be a monthly post {i.e. Making Joy in January, etc} for random ramblings of my mom life.
{Side note: HUGE shout out to Kelly from Kelly Lester Photography for taking these amazingggg shots of my family. If you’re in Pittsburgh, check her out. I’m telling you, we do not look this good in real life. If only she could photoshop a smile onto Charlie…}
One of the things as a mom I’m really struggling with right now is loneliness.
How can I possibly be lonely when I’m surrounded by my little boys 24/7? Well, it’s not the physical loneliness but more of emotional loneliness.
For instance, I have zero mom friends. Zero. None. No one to go on play dates with. No one to text about the latest tantrum. No one to run out and grab coffee with.
Of course I have friends, but, they’re not moms. And I love them to death, but, it’s not the same. I technically have a sister with a child, but, that’s a whole different story. My sister-in-law has kids, but, she always has a lot going on and it’s hard to plan with her.
In essence, I have no one. But my husband. And these little boys. I love this life I have with them, but, somedays I just don’t know if I can do it.
Do you feel like this, too? Feel the loneliness?
It makes it hard to be a good mother. It make it hard to see the joy in your life. It makes it hard to survive the latest tantrum without throwing one yourself.
I’m normally pretty good at dealing with most anything. I’m pretty even-keeled. But lately, the overwhelming feeling of loneliness is weighing heavily on me.
It’s probably all confounded with Charlie going completely crazy these last few months. And by completely crazy, I mean one step from the nuthouse crazy. Screaming all day, not sleeping. I can’t take him anywhere (literally anywhere) because he’s completely out of control.
And, I don’t want to sound like I’m throwing myself a pity party. I truly believe I can’t be the only mom out there feeling this way. I’m trying to be vulnerable (something I am NOT good at) and share my story in hopes of connecting with and helping even just one mom out there.
And if you are that mom, and you just so happen to be reading this, know you are not alone. I feel you, girl.
Gosh, this season of life is so hard. Motherhood.is.so.hard.
Don’t let temporary loneliness steal this season of motherhood.
While I wade through these tough months, I keep in mind that better days will come. Some day, the kids won’t want me to cuddle with them for entirely too long every night. Some day, I won’t feel their soft baby cheeks against my face and smell their sweet skin. Some day, they won’t want to play with me all day long. Some day, I won’t have to act super excited at every.little.thing.
And, I think that’s what making joy is all about. Some days will just be joyful. But, these days right now, in this season of motherhood, I have to make joy. (See, I kinda came full circle here, right??).
Making joy in January is all about seeing the joy in my life. My kids are happy, healthy and full of life. My husband loves me. I have this family. And that is my joy.
How are you making joy in your life this month?
Wishing you a joyful day!
Absolutely beautiful Sarah! There is SO much truth in this and I don’t know a single mom out there that couldn’t relate to each and every word! xo
Thank you Kristi!! It was definitely out of character for me to write something like this, but, I know I can’t be the only one feeling this way. 🙂
Sarah, I did take your survey and I expressed a strong desire to see more stories about your family. I do hope that you will make the decision share those in the future. Thanks so much for sharing today. It makes me sad to think that you don’t have 1 or 2 close friends that you can share your life with. I’m going to praying that the Lord will provide that for you. I bet there’s another mom that would love to have a friend also. Your little boys are just beautiful!!
Thanks Bonnie! I had mixed results overall but decided it’s part of why I started blogging so I wanted to give it a shot! So many people are suffering through much MUCH worse than not having mom friends. I’m so thankful to have so many sweet readers to offer encouragement!
I know exactly how you feel, Sarah. When I was a young mom with two kids in school and a new baby I was able to find a mom’s group through a community agency. We met once a week and the agency provided childcare- if needed. Eventually, we all became good friends and did things together outside the group. This group saved my sanity – and I made lifelong friends in the process. Hang in there, dear, it does get better.
Thank you so much, Karen!! It’s so comforting knowing so many others have gone through what I’m going through now. I’m looking for a group just like it … crossing my fingers 🙂
Sarah, I too like to read the more personal family side, the cute little boy stories and the open truth as you just did. Because for me it makes you so relatable. I also sufffer from terrible loneliness, but kind of in a different way, my kids are 27 and 21, so I’m an empty nester and also on disability, so I can’t get a job, and we just in the past 5 years moved to a new state where I don’t know a soul. It is a very lonely and can be depressing life, but I rely heavily on my faith, and know that somewhere down the road God has great plans for me.
Thank you do being so open and honest, I need to hear that other people feel the way I do sometimes, I’m sorry that you do tho.
This is what I always tell my daughter when she’s down about something, “Chin up Buttercup, every little thing is gonna be alright”.
Blessings and hugs to you!
Oh Candy! That sounds lonely, too! I keep telling my husband I want to move away and start over (all of us as a family) but, I guess that doesn’t solve the problem haha. I’m glad you like hearing about these stories and, even though I’m not a fan of talking about myself openly like this, it’s been so refreshing to get everything off my chest and have everyone (including you!) be so sweet and supportive.
What a sweet post, Sarah! I very much understand how you feel. Day-in and day-out motherhood can wear you out. I am trying to focus on being better at enjoying the moments, rather than feeling exhausted. I’m trying to set some boundaries {like, I took FB off my phone}, so I’m not as tempted to tune out when I have “down time”, but instead engage and relax with the kids.
SUCH a great idea, Lora. I find myself aimlessly scrolling through Facebook and then not even remembering what I was looking at or reading. It’s the little moments that seem like nothing that I remember. They’ll only be this little for so long 🙂
I took Facebook off my phone a few months ago and I feel so much more connected! I’m not constantly getting and checking notifications while with my family or friends.
I love the idea for making this a monthly addition to your blog. I think it will be a very nice to hear your thoughts on your struggles for making joy in this crazy world. I am not a parent but I work in childcare and what you are feeling is felt by so many mothers I deal with. It is a tough balance to be a wife, parent and individual. You are a strong person, writing such a personal post is proof of that. You will figure this out and it will help you become an even better wife, parent and individual.
Aww I’m so glad you like this type of post, Amanda! I was a bit apprehensive about sharing personal stories or feelings but it seems like everyone can relate, in one way or another. Working in childcare in so admirable (and difficult I imagine!). It’s comforting knowing others go through the same thing I am. Thanks so much for your sweet encouragement 🙂
These types of posts are always encouraging. I can associate with some of what you mentioned. Motherhood is not easy but it is a rewarding ‘job’. I know not having family close by and friends to support and just to share with must be difficult. Especially now that you are in another stage that may even add to the exhaustion and increase the loneliness you feel. And when the kids don’t cooperate it makes things even tougher… We love them but it’s not always easy to get them to not act out and throw tantrums!! All you can do is your best and hope they outgrow it. Hopefully, you will find strength to get through these tough moments. Your family is beautiful.
Aww thanks Zan!! Yes, I have to admit I am terrified of having baby #3 just with how things are going right now. The loss of sleep and sanity is sure to come and I’m hoping (and praying!) I can survive the newborn months in one piece haha. It will all be gone too fast and we’ll be wishing we could snuggle up with our little babies again.
Oh it’s such a wonderful thing we have going, right? These kids are crazy and we love it but it certainly does get lonely! I’m usually feeling like I don’t get enough time with my crazies because of working full time, but being on maternity leave I’m going nuts! I love being home, but I’m always on the search for the next thing to do – I think it’s a second time mom thing…I don’t need as much sleep, I have to have more energy to keep up the excitement for “every.little.thing” (especially the potty! Haha), and I’m ok with the house being a mess (sometimes).
I think if you add some at home things to do with your kids on your blog, it would be great! I’m always looking for things to do that are easy, cheap (or free!), and doesn’t make a huge mess!
Keep making joy and pretty things!
P.S. we live like 15 mins from each other, let me know if you wanna play sometime ?☺️?
Hi Kristy!!! I worked full time after my first and definitely felt the same way. It’s strange how being a full-time working mom and part-time working mom have different challenges along the way. No matter what you do, work or not, motherhood is HARD! When I had my second, I was like you – always on the go and doing the next thing. But, with this stage that Charlie is in, I quite literally can’t even run to target with him. It takes two adults to handle him in public. So I am going STIR CRAZZZYYY!!! I do a ton of activities with the kids but honestly I like to make a mess haha. We get messy most of the time. Being neat is not something I’m good at 😉 but I do plan on sharing some of our crafty times on the blog this year.
Thanks so much for reading the blog! And yes!!! Message me on Facebook, I’d love to get together!
I love this Sarah. It’s so true that sometimes day are just full of joy, but that’s probably more the exception than the rule, at least for me. I think if we remember that we have the power to create joy and recognize it in the small things, then we’ll feel better. Also, I will totally be your texting buddy if you want! 😉
Thanks Shani!! It’s so comforting to know others have to “make joy” in their lives, too! You see moms so put together and wonder how they do it!! You need to live closer so the kiddos can play 🙂
I hate that anyone has to experience this kind of loneliness, but it does help to get it off of you chest and to know you’re not alone.
Thank you for your kind remarks and for being so relatable.
Blessings,
Candy
Thanks for sharing your heart, sweet lady! I wish I could be that mom friend who could pick up a starbucks together and go to Target for an hour or two! Excited for what this year has in store for you and your blog! xo
You are SO sweet Kendra! I’ll add you to the list of blogging friends that live entirely too far away! Ditto for your blog, girl! 🙂
I’m in the same boat of not having any mommy friends. And working full time doesn’t really give me any opportunities for play dates or mommy and me groups. But I’ve heard it said, “Joy is not the absence of pain or suffering, but the presence of God.” So there is definitely joy to be had/made/felt even on the hardest days!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE that quote. I may need to DIY a sign of that somewhere prominent in my house. Such a true sentiment and important to remember on those crappy, lonely days!
aw i love your little family Sarah! Thanks for opening up about how you’re feeling in such an honest way – i’m sure so many feel the same! Being a mom is HARD work and sharing in those joys and frustrations is such an important part of being true to who you are! XO
Aww thanks Colette!! It’s weird being open and vulnerable and not sarcastic 😉 I love sharing in the highs and lows of motherhood!