Making Joy in February

Good morning 🙂

Today I’m back to share some random ramblings about motherhood and family and to give you a glimpse of me and my family behind the blog.

As we near the birth of our third child, I’ve been trying to soak up every last second being just a “boy mom”.   I’m honestly going to miss saying I’m a mom of just boys.

I was built to be a boy mom.  I hate shopping (like HATE it – not online shopping, that I LOVE :)), I could watch sports all day long and quote stats like it’s my job, and I don’t really like traditional “girly” things.  Most days you’ll find me in sweatpants with my hair pulled back and no makeup on.  I can’t remember the last time I painted my nails.  I’m actually horrible at being a girl.

But, I’ve been thinking recently of what kind of mom I want to be for my daughter.  It’s pretty terrifying in general  to be having a girl.  I wonder how I made it through college in one piece.  I think about all the stupid decisions I made and want to put Evie in a little bubble and never let her out.

I wonder “will she hate me when she’s in high school?”, “will she wish I wanted to go shopping all day on a Saturday?”, “will she like sports and watch/play them with me?”, “will she be sarcastic and shy like me or outgoing and talkative like my husband?”, and most importantly to me “will she be my friend when she’s an adult?”

Am I crazy for thinking all these things now when she’s not even born?!

You guys, it is SO hard to be a mom.  Between the constant judging of others to just the fact that you need to still be you while being a mom, I’m often overwhelmed just in my day to day life as a mom.

There is so much outside noise about motherhood.  If you work full-time, you must not love your kids.  If you stay at home, what do you do all day?  If you feed them McDonalds you must be a horrible mom.  And it goes on and on and on.

And with that thought, I think, comes the whole purpose of this post.   Living in the moment.  It’s such a simple concept and definitely a bit cliche on its own.  You can’t control what others think of you, what they say about you or what they themselves do.

Here’s what living in the moment means to me…

No less than 40 billion people told me to cherish every moment with your kids because they grow up so fast.  It’s something you’ve heard SO many times before that it just almost doesn’t mean anything.

And tell that to a new mom who has slept 3 hours in 3 days.  Or a mom of a toddler who just colored with a Sharpie on the new couch.  Cherish those moments?!  Yeah, okay.

But, you guys I feel like I’m part grandma part young mom right now.  When I look at my 4 1/2 year old, I can’t remember how he got that old.  I remember bringing him home from the hospital, setting his car seat on our bed and we both looked at each other and said “okay so what do we do with him?”.

One quote that really stuck with me I heard somewhere was “Motherhood – where the days drag on but the years fly by”.  Where did the time go between bringing him home and now?   The old grandma in me is saying “see how fast that went??  Didn’t I tell you to cherish ALL the moments??”

I guess there’s a difference between cherishing every moment (because let’s face it, you don’t want to cherish quite all of them) and living in the moment.  Not looking back, not looking forward.  Enjoying that moment.  And, I don’t think I did a very good job of that for the first few years of motherhood.

I was always looking forward to the next phase.  When they slept through the night.  When I didn’t have to pump at work anymore.  When they could feed themselves.  When they could go to the bathroom themselves.  It’s like the grass is always greener, or the next phase in your child’s life will somehow be “easier” than the last.

Since making the choice to live in the moment, to not look forward and to not regret the past, I have been 100% happier as a mom.

And I’m SO looking forward to doing that all over again with Evie.  I can’t wait to to hold her close to my skin, to nurse her, to watch her smile for the first time.  And all the moments in between.

I lay in bed every night and feel her move.  That’s her super awake time, which will be perfect if it stays that way when she’s born.  The boys are asleep, the house is quiet.  It can just be me and her.  I want to remember those moments.

Sorry if this post was a complete jumbling of thoughts without any real purpose.  I’ll call it pregnancy brain 😉

And, the most ridiculous picture of the month….my husband, who can do approximately 1/2 of 1 push-up, showing his boys just how strong he is…

I also came across this quote in another blog I read and it really resonated with me.  Food for thought I guess 🙂

“Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge… is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding.”  –Bill Bullard

Wishing you a joyful day!